Toolshed/Quotes

This page lists all notable quotes voiced out by Toolshed (Stan Marsh) in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.

Overview
Toolshed's quotes are mostly tool-themed; he often talks about his tools and his abilities for the construction job. Some of his quotes also reference the Wild West's gunslingers, especially when he uses Spiral Power.

Toolshed seems to be the only hero that refers Captain Diabetes by his real name, Scott, during combat. He is also affectionate towards Call Girl, due to the relationship between their alter-egos.

Field/Story
During Civil War 2: Playtime's Over During Freedom Calling During The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto During Farts of Future Past
 * "Relax, Coon Friends. I didn't come to fight."
 * "No... This was someone who wanted to hurt us personally."
 * "Hey, isn't that the New Kid's parents?"
 * "So somebody has to walk down to the third level and flip the switch? One, two, three, NOT IT!"
 * "This is bullshit."
 * "What's that?"
 * "There he is!"
 * "You're not going anywhere, you piece of shit!"
 * "WAIT! WAIT, STOPPPPP!"
 * "Everyone LISTEN! This is all just a plan to get more crime in our town so that the Coon and Friends franchise would be bigger than the Freedom Pals franchise!"
 * "Cat urine has been put into your drugs and alcohol to raise crime in the city so that the Coon would have more crime to fight. Everything was thought up by THIS ASSHOLE!"
 * "No! Don't you get it?! HE DID IT ALL!"
 * "STOP WITH THAT ALREADY!"
 * "Please don't tell me you're buying this."
 * When using Sandblaster
 * When appearing to The New Kid
 * "Toolshed's here!"
 * "Toolshed's got what you need!"
 * "Toolshed, always right for the job!"
 * After using Sandblaster
 * "We did it!"
 * "Awesome!"
 * "Hell yes!"
 * "Your ass is awesome, dude!"
 * Female New Kid Idle
 * "The New Kid's got the best secret identity, 'cause sometimes you can't tell if he's a boy or a girl."
 * Taking a selfie with the New Kid
 * "Sure, Buttlord, we make a pretty good team."
 * After selfie
 * "Sweet."
 * Attacked
 * "God dammit!"
 * "Totally lame."
 * "Shit! What?"
 * Farted on
 * "That's not OK!"
 * "Son of a bitch!"
 * "Dude!"

Battle
Toolshed: "Technically I drilled them, but...thanks!" Toolshed: "Thanks, Call Girl." Toolshed: "Uh, heh. Thanks, Call Girl." Call Girl: "Of course not. Unless you deserved it." Call Girl: "I spent the last six months canvassing community centers. How do you think? With the internet, silly!" Call Girl: "That'd be nice, Toolshed." Toolshed: "I'm trying!" Call Girl: "Yeah, Stan, thanks." Call Girl: "Thanks. I think." Toolshed: "Uh... Nah dude I'm busy, sorry." Captain Diabetes: "How about tomorrow?" Toolshed: "Cool, Scott." Toolshed: "Thanks, Captain Diabetes! You can be my deputy." Toolshed: "Yeah, OK...thanks." The Coon: "Hehe! I bet you are." The Coon: "I'm doing it right now, Super Tool." Toolshed: "GO ALREADY." Toolshed: "At least I have a dad." Toolshed: "Uh-huh." The Coon: "You know, "tools" is another word for "penises."" Toolshed: "Yep. I know." Human Kite: "Thanks, dude!" The Coon: "Jesus, you two, get a room." Human Kite: "What? I don't care. Do you?" Toolshed: "Oh yeah. Not really." The Coon: "Hey, fuck you guys!" Human Kite: "Wow." Toolshed: ??? Toolshed: "Maybe we split off into another timeline." Wonder Tweek: "Can we PLEASE establish a canon and stick to it?! AUGH!" Toolshed: "Sorry!" Toolshed: "Dude!" Toolshed: "Oh, god, you're right!" Mysterion: "I am not bound by your natural laws." Toolshed: "When did you borrow that?" Fastpass: "Like, five seconds ago. I am so fast." Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" Toolshed: "What the hell is that?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." Toolshed: "Dude, not everyone is into your Chaos shtick." Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Spoken like a true agent of Chaos!" Toolshed: "Don't be a dick, Super Craig." Super Craig: "Speak up. Couldn't hear you over my massive middle finger." Human Kite: "I'm good. Just makin' some plans." Toolshed: "Yeah, I guess so." Mitch Conner: "Never! Hohoho!" Human Kite: "It's not me, dude! It's Mitch!" Toolshed: "Dude! You fucking blow!" Toolshed: "Not in this lifetime, Chaos!"
 * Selected
 * "Clocking in!"
 * "Ok!"
 * "Toolshed!"
 * Battle start
 * "Let's fix these idiots!"
 * "I estimate this job will take...oh, five to ten minutes."
 * "Let's get Down to work!"
 * Battle start, versus Chaos Dogs
 * "Dogs? Why did it have to be dogs?"
 * Turn start
 * "Time to D.I.Y. some justice!"
 * "Time to show off my toolset."
 * "You don't wanna mess with my toolshed."
 * "Time to work."
 * "On the clock."
 * "I'm on the job!"
 * "Somebody's about to get fixed. Who's it gonna be?"
 * "Let's go!"
 * "Rack 'em up!"
 * "Time to get nailed, assholes!"
 * "Ready to screw the bad guys!"
 * "Come on, let's do this!"
 * "I got just the tool for this job!"
 * "Here we go!"
 * "Punching in!"
 * Turn start, in low health
 * "Is it break time yet?"
 * "OK, let's finish this job."
 * "I'm not done yet!"
 * "Clocking in...phew."
 * "Man, is it quittin' time yet?"
 * The Coon turn start, the Coon in low health
 * "Jeez, Cartman's looking a little rough, guys."
 * New Kid turn start
 * "Get in there, New Kid!"
 * "You're up to bat, New Kid!"
 * "You got this, Butthole!"
 * "Go, Butthole!"
 * Idle
 * "Hmm, lots of options here."
 * "I knew I'd regret not bringing the belt sander."
 * "What's the best move?"
 * "Girls think tools are sexy, right?"
 * "Just gimme a minute here."
 * Ally idle
 * "The sooner you go the sooner it's my turn."
 * "Let's go, dude."
 * Captain Diabetes idle
 * "Scott, come on."
 * New Kid idle
 * "Get in there, New Kid. Do your thing."
 * First time using Spiral Power
 * "That was my drillslinger."
 * Using Spiral Power
 * "Gunslinger!"
 * "Laser drills!"
 * "Draw!"
 * "You're dead!"
 * "How about this?!"
 * After using Spiral Power
 * "You got fucking drilled!"
 * "They're drills that shoot lasers. They're totally believable and cool."
 * "For the full backstory on my laser drills, read Toolshed: Nobody's Tool #1, coming out this spring!"
 * "Hope you brought safety goggles!"
 * "The only problem with laser drills is you have to recharge them every 20 minutes."
 * After using Spiral Power or Drillslinger
 * "It's high noon...somewhere in the world!"
 * "Get back!"
 * First time using Drillslinger
 * "That's my Double Screw! It pierces from both sides, pretty neat, huh?"
 * Using Drillslinger
 * "Screwdrivers of death!"
 * "Catch!"
 * "How about THIS?"
 * "Phillips fling!"
 * "Double Screw!"
 * "Take this!"
 * "Deal with this, asshole!"
 * "Back up!"
 * Using Drillslinger, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Screw you, Chaos!"
 * After using Drillslinger
 * "Those are my dad's so I'm going to need them back at some point."
 * "Obviously a situation where Philips head shines."
 * Using Revitotron 9000
 * "Thank me later."
 * "I got what you need."
 * "I got you."
 * "Here!"
 * "Here, man."
 * "Here you go, dude!"
 * "Here, this'll help."
 * Using Revitotron 9000 on Captain Diabetes
 * "Keep it together, Scott!"
 * Using Revitotron 9000, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Revitotron 9000!"
 * "Relax, I'm about to mist you, buddy."
 * "Tool time: Revitotron 9000 Precision Misting System!"
 * "You're gonna feel a cool mist and a refreshing breeze."
 * Ultimate ready
 * "We advance a little further with each turn - that's how a drill works!"
 * "I'm ready to break out the heavy equipment, guys!"
 * After using Full Bore
 * "This is a gross misuse of a power drill, but you had it comin'!"
 * "I find a 1/2 drill bit is the best choice for body work!"
 * "Now all we need is a 3/8 inch drywall screw and we could hang a picture off that wound."
 * After attacking Almighty King Douchebag, Farts of Future Past
 * "Nothing personal, Old-new Kid!"
 * After attacking Chaos Minion, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Nailed your Chaos asses!"
 * "I have too much respect for tools to call you guys 'tools.'"
 * Ally attacking
 * "Yeah, let's fuck these guys up!"
 * After ally attacking
 * "That might require therapy to get over."
 * "Boom! Nailed it!"
 * After ally using punching attack
 * "Now, that was a punching."
 * After Call Girl using Selfie-Stick Strike
 * "Nice. You really captured his bad side."
 * After Call Girl using Blocked
 * "The lesson here: Never never ever mess with Call Girl."
 * After Call Girl using Phone Destroyer
 * "That creep's day just got a thousand times worse."
 * After The Coon using Coon Claws
 * "You're shreddin' it, Coon!"
 * "It's like a Ginsu knife slicing a tomato."
 * After Fastpass using Hit and Run
 * "Good hustle! Good hustle!"
 * After Human Kite using Laser Burn
 * "Top-notch lasering, dude."
 * "Toolshed standing by to deliver a second lasering if needed."
 * Targeted by Jetstream
 * "I feel so sharp!"
 * "My tools are razor-sharp now."
 * After Human Kite using Wrath of Kite
 * "You're kicking serious ass, buddy!"
 * After Mosquito attacking
 * "Maybe put down a drop cloth next time."
 * After Mosquito using Pandemic Pestilence
 * "Glad I'm wearing safety goggles."
 * After Mysterion using Demonic Fury or Dread Rush
 * "Uh oh. When Mysterion rolls up his sleeves, weird shit happens."
 * After New Kid attacking
 * "ButtLord's really giving them shit!"
 * "ButtLord wrecked them!"
 * "You're taking care of business, ButtLord."
 * "How'd he do that?"
 * "Job well done! Admirable work ethic!"
 * After Professor Chaos using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron
 * "You turned your passion into your job, Professor Chaos. I admire that."
 * "That was some quality Chaos, I guess."
 * After Professor Chaos using Hammer of Chaos
 * "Sometimes all that separates us from Chaos is a single shim."
 * After Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch
 * "Super Craig's definitely playing full-contact superhero."
 * "Consider them pulverized!"
 * After Super Craig using Shining Hate Finger
 * "That went over well."
 * After Wonder Tweek using Icicle Strike
 * "How about this weather we've been having lately?"
 * "Anyone got a tarp? I need to protect my tools and stuff."
 * After a Timefart Glitch
 * "You didn't deserve that turn anyway."
 * "Better luck next time."
 * "Kiss your turn goodbye."
 * After a Timefart Pause
 * "I swear ButtLord looks ten seconds older."
 * After a Timefart Summon
 * "Appreciate the extra hand, New Kid!"
 * Enemy defeated
 * "Got 'em!"
 * "Hell yeah!"
 * "Enemy down!"
 * Enemy defeated, in low health
 * "Yeah! This isn't over!"
 * After using Ham Radio
 * "Thanks, Uncle Jimbo!"
 * Using healing item on self
 * "You're going down!"
 * Using healing item on ally
 * "Take this, man."
 * Healed
 * "Wow, I needed that!"
 * "Thanks for that."
 * "Hell yeah, teamwork!"
 * Healed and protected
 * "Thanks!"
 * "Thanks, man."
 * Reviving
 * "Toolshed's got your back."
 * "Welcome back, dude!"
 * "Up you go!"
 * "A little fixer-upper and you're all set!"
 * Attacked
 * "Holy shit!"
 * "Stop!"
 * "Mother fucker!"
 * "Aw, come on!"
 * "Dude, lay off!"
 * "Fuck, get off!"
 * New Kid attacked
 * "You can take it, ButtLord."
 * Call Girl attacked
 * "Hey! No screwing with my Call Girl!"
 * Chilled
 * "It's fu- It's freezing, you guys."
 * Grossed Out
 * "Aw, sick, dude."
 * Ally defeated
 * "Shit, he's down."
 * Mysterion defeated
 * "Oh my god! They K.O-ed Mysterion!"
 * The Coon defeated
 * "Oh my god! They killed Cartman!"
 * Victory
 * "GG guys!"
 * "All right!"
 * "Job's done!"
 * "For freedom! And the Pals who love it!"
 * Dialogue
 * With Call Girl, using Spiral Power
 * Call Girl: "Nailed them, Stan!"
 * With Call Girl, after using Drillslinger
 * Call Girl: "You're a pretty handy guy to have around, Stan."
 * Call Girl: "You're pretty good with your hands, Stan."
 * With Call Girl, after Call Girl using Phone Destroyer and Blocked
 * Toolshed: "You would never do something like that to me, would you, Call Girl?"
 * With Call Girl, after Call Girl using Flash Mob
 * Toolshed: "How did you organize that so fast?"
 * Toolshed: "Maybe I could be in your next flash mob, Call Girl. You know, if you want."
 * With Call Girl, attacked
 * Call Girl: "Be more careful, Toolshed!"
 * With Call Girl, Call Girl attacked
 * Toolshed: "Jesus! Are you OK, Wendy?"
 * Toolshed: "Hey! That's no normal girl you're hitting there!"
 * With Captain Diabetes, character other than Captain Diabetes idle
 * Captain Diabetes: "Hey, you guys wanna watch a movie at my place after this? Stan?"
 * Captain Diabetes: "Did you guys know insulin comes from pigs?"
 * With Captain Diabetes, after using Spiral Power
 * Captain Diabetes: "There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Toolshed."
 * With Captain Diabetes, after using Drillslinger
 * Captain Diabetes: "Captain Diabetes salutes you, Toolshed!"
 * With The Coon, turn start
 * Toolshed: "Ready to screw the bad guys!"
 * With The Coon, the Coon idle
 * Toolshed: "Coon, can we get on with saving South Park and stuff?"
 * The Coon: "Let's see, I could give you a vicious clawing... Or you... Or you... Hmm." / "Just...need to stand here a little longer... Little longer."
 * With The Coon, after using Spiral Power
 * The Coon: "I can't believe your dad was dumb enough to lend you his tools, Toolshed."
 * With The Coon, after using Drillslinger
 * The Coon: "You've obviously had some practice handling tools."
 * With The Coon and Human Kite, after Human Kite attacking
 * Toolshed: "Excellent use of your kite-based powers, Human Kite!"
 * With The Coon and Human Kite, The Coon defeated
 * Toolshed: "Oh my god, they killed Cartman! I said, "Oh my god, they killed Cartman!"
 * With Human Kite, turn start
 * Toolshed: "Ready to screw the bad guys!"
 * With Human Kite, Human Kite turn start
 * Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time."
 * With Human Kite and Wonder Tweek, Human Kite Turn Start, Farts of Future Past
 * Human Kite: "So if we beat up our past selves, does that mean we change the future?"
 * With Human Kite, after attacking Human Kite
 * Human Kite: "Jesus, dude. That really hurt!"
 * With Mosquito and Call Girl, after Call Girl using Blocked, Phone Destroyer, or Flash Mob
 * Mosquito: "Let me know if you ever want to go slurp on some livestock... Or grab a milkshake or whatever." / "You can spread viruses on social media, right? Because that makes us twinsies!" / "I bet your blood type is "Oh, wow!""
 * With Mysterion, after using Drillslinger
 * Mysterion: "Fight or fail, what does it matter? You'll be dust in a hundred years anyway."
 * With Mysterion, after Mysterion using Demonic Fury
 * Toolshed: "Not sure those powers of yours are up to code."
 * With Fastpass, Fastpass turn start
 * Fastpass: "Thanks for letting me borrow your jigsaw, Toolshed!"
 * With Professor Chaos, battle start against Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * Toolshed: "Wow that's...that's a hell of a construction project."
 * With Professor Chaos, self or ally idle
 * Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!"
 * With Professor Chaos, after using Drillslinger
 * Professor Chaos: "How does it feel to serve as a tool of Chaos?"
 * With Super Craig, after using Drillslinger
 * Super Craig: "Cool. But you'd probably get more out of those tools if you sold them on eBay."
 * Unsorted
 * "When in doubt, light 'em on fire, right?"
 * "If you want my advice, I'd say maybe shoot some lasers?"
 * "That bulging utility belt of yours is the real hero here, Coon."
 * "We got this. You got this."
 * Toolshed: "You OK, buddy?"
 * Human Kite: "We're still friends, right?"
 * "Ugh, dude seriously?"
 * "Dammit, Cartman! Put your stupid hand away!"
 * Toolshed: "Will you just tell us where New Kid's parents are already?"
 * "I bet you guys are glad to have me back."
 * Toolshed: "Dude! What the fuck you attacking us for?"
 * Mitch Conner: "An ill wind blows!"
 * "I don't feel so good."
 * "Little help over here!"
 * "Stand back! I'm about to tool with Chaos!"
 * "What awesome tool will Toolshed whip out next?!"
 * "These guys smell worse than your farts."
 * "Does Butters even go to school anymore?"
 * "Is Butters actually paying these guys anything?"
 * "Dude, it's fucked up to sic dogs on us."
 * "Prepare to be tooled, minions!"
 * "Screwing minions now!"
 * "Toolshed versus Chaos minions, fight!"
 * "It's like you have steel-toed boots for fists!"
 * "I'm SO glad I'm wearing safety goggles right now."
 * "Way to get the job done, Super Craig!"
 * Professor Chaos: "Bow before Chaos or face my army of minions!"

Trivia

 * The phrase that Toolshed exclaims when Mysterion is killed during combat refers to his famous catchphrase from the South Park animated series.