Professor Chaos/Quotes

This page lists all notable quotes voiced out by Professor Chaos (Butters Stotch) in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.

Overview
Professor Chaos dedicates himself to spreading chaos, which is reflected in his quotes. However, he also acts caring towards his allies.

Field/Story

 * During The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Well, well, you actually made it to the end, Coon Friends."
 * During The Chaos Gambit
 * "That's like a new electric lock my dad put on the door cuz once, when I was grounded, I tried to leave to go to the bathroom."
 * "I gotta get outta here before my dad regains consciousness."
 * During Bring the Crunch
 * "Real blood?! You mean this is really real? Oh, god, we're all gonna die!"
 * "HOLY SHIT! What the fuck was that?!"
 * "Timmy, how could you!"
 * When using Haywire
 * Appearing to The New Kid
 * "CHAOS!"
 * "Here comes the CHAOS!"
 * "WHO SUMMONS CHAOS? Oh, hey there, New Kid."
 * Appearing to The New Kid in master bedroom of Butters' House
 * "Whoa uh...I'm not supposed to be in here, but OK!"
 * Appearing to The New Kid in Forensics Room of Park County Police station
 * "Oh jeez! You didn't do all that, did you, New Kid?"
 * Appearing to The New Kid in laboratory of Mephesto Genetics Lab
 * "Oh jeez New Kid, you're in quite a pickle!"
 * Stuffing the Flying Minion into The New Kid's rear
 * "Come here little guy!"
 * "There there, minion..."
 * "In you go."
 * "C'mere little minion..."
 * If failed
 * "Aw, hamburgers!"
 * "Try aiming for the wires, New Kid."
 * "Poor little guy. Looks like he died for nothing."
 * "Muwahaha! Hitting next to the target is the essence of Chaos!"
 * "I'm sorry! I'll put it in better next time!"
 * After successfully using Haywire
 * "Oh wow!"
 * Leaving
 * "Chaos is its own reward!"
 * "Mwahaha, bye!"
 * "See ya!"
 * "Bye!"
 * Leaving master bedroom of Butters' House
 * "OK, I'm outta here, bye!"
 * Leaving Forensics Room of Park County Police station
 * "OK, I'm gonna get out of here now."
 * Leaving laboratory of Mephesto Genetics Lab
 * "Good luck fixing that tram so that we can all live!"
 * Female New Kid idle
 * "Hey, Butthole. Anyone told you for a boy, you're kinda pretty?"
 * Talked to
 * "CHAOS!"
 * Talked to, after completing The Chaos Gambit
 * "Muahahah! Everything is going acording to plan."
 * "Joining Freedom Pals sure was the right decision, eh New Kid?"
 * "Can you believe this place, New Kid? Freedom Pals don't mess around!"
 * Taking a selfie with the New Kid
 * "Wuh huh huh... the Professor will gladly selfie with his new ally!"
 * After selfie
 * "Wuahahaha - what a CHAOTIC portrait!!"
 * After selfie with Final Girl New Kid
 * "Chaos and Final Girl, BFFs."
 * Attacked
 * "Hey c'mon, no horseplay."
 * "C'mon stop it."
 * "Quit it!"
 * "You have annoyed Professor Chaos!"
 * Farted on
 * "No thank you."
 * "Oh jeez!"
 * "Oh my!"
 * Farted on, The Chaos Gambit
 * "Well, I appreciate you tryin' to cheer me up, New Kid, but it ain't workin' too good."

Battle
Professor Chaos: "Oh, days and days!" Professor Chaos: "I'm sorry, me!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah, they can do all sorts of cool stuff!" Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" Call Girl: "What're you doing, Butters?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." Call Girl: "The whole place is on fire, you idiot!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, yeah?" Professor Chaos: "Aw shucks, thanks, Call Girl!" Professor Chaos: "Play your cards right and I might introduce you." Call Girl: "Aw thanks, Butters!" Professor Chaos: "Who is this "Butters"? I am PROFESSOR CHAOS!!!!!!!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, don't worry. I have a cleaning crew booked for after." Professor Chaos: "Yeah, sorta, I think so..." Professor Chaos: "Oh, but I am, Captain Diabetes, and I'm going to enjoy watching you pee yourself!" Captain Diabetes: ​"Nah, I'm just naturally swole." Captain Diabetes: ​"We should hang out more often. I'd love to show you." Professor Chaos: ​"Sure! You can be my Admiral Anarchy!" Chaos Kid: "Your check bounced. Chaos minions wanna get paid!" The Coon: "How can they remember it if they're dead?" Professor Chaos: "They...uh... Oh darnit." The Coon: "The fuck are you doing, Butters?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." The Coon: "No!" / Mitch Conner: "Yes!" Professor Chaos: "Don't worry. Lots more Chaos where that came from!" Professor Chaos: "Oh boy, begrudging respect! That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." The Coon: "Yes. I expect it is." The Coon: "Fuck you, Chaos. That was a brutal attack!" Professor Chaos: "I know! Have you met my grandma?" The Coon: "Uh, fucking revive me?" Professor Chaos: "Well, that was me!" Professor Chaos: "I agree!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah, let's stop fighting and do that!" Nathan: "Maybe after we kill you." Professor Chaos: "Yeah, try not to die, New Kid! ...'Cause we're next if you do." Fastpass: "Put something together from those tools you gathered!" Professor Chaos: "Hey, hamsters can be serious business when exposed to Chaos!" Professor Chaos: "Only temporary! Soon the world will feel my wrath again!" Fastpass: "What in the world are you doing?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." Professor Chaos: "From no one. Chaos is my master!" Fastpass: "Ah, from the Learning Annex, then. I got it!" Professor Chaos: "Well, I'm glad you think so!" Professor Chaos: "Knock 'em into your traps!" Fastpass: "Don't let a little dampness get to you!" Fastpass: "Think of it as part of a unique cultural experience." Professor Chaos: "Uh, not really." Fastpass: "Just be happy it's not your blood!" Professor Chaos: "Golly! I guess monsters have more blood in 'em than humans do." Other monster: "You don't belong here! Rarr!" Fastpass: "Hmm, something's a little off with these monsters." Mintberry Crunch: "Let's get 'em!" Professor Chaos: "You guys are crazy!" Professor Chaos: "Your King is no match for us, wahaha!" Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" Human Kite: "Yeah, why, Stan?" Professor Chaos: "Muchas gracias." Professor Chaos: "Well, they still taste good." Mintberry Crunch: "Join the club." Professor Chaos: "You know what would make this more impressive? Lightning!" / "Now where'd he go?" Professor Chaos: "Thank goodness!" Professor Chaos: "Shucks, uh, who do I go after?" Professor Chaos: "Professor Chaos is NOT ready." Professor Chaos: "Uh, that monster has a good point you guys." Professor Chaos: "Oh, hamburgers!" Professor Chaos: "Well, Toolshed would probably be interested but he's not here." Professor Chaos: "Not it!" Professor Chaos: "Uh-oh, a little pee came out again, you guys." Professor Chaos: "My dad let's[sic] me not be grounded sometimes." Mysterion: "Mysterion works alone." Professor Chaos: "Really? I mean, we're kinda working together right now." Mysterion: "Mysterion works alone." Professor Chaos: "Well, ok then." Mysterion: "I know." Professor Chaos: "Uh...yeah." Professor Chaos: "Oh no!" Professor Chaos: "Aww, dang it." Professor Chaos: "Oh, please no." Stephen: "How many times have I told you not to play around with raw energy beams!" Stephen: "Butters, you're wasting electricity!" Professor Chaos: "Oh yeah, I guess so." Professor Chaos: "Oh gosh!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, I sure I'm sorry about this fellas!" Professor Chaos: "No sir, we sure aren't doing any of those things!" Professor Chaos: "Well, it sure has been nice being your friend, guys." Stephen: "Godammit!" Professor Chaos: "OK, Dad." Professor Chaos: "I...I am? But I don't feel grounded. Hey Guys, I'm not grounded! I'm Ungroundable!" Stephen: "NOOOOO!" Super Craig: "You mean their body?" Professor Chaos: "Oh-ho, good one!" Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" Professor Chaos: "Hey, I'm paying you guys good money and I want to see results!" Super Craig: "OK, that got in my mouth." Super Craig: "How about you FUCK OFF." Professor Chaos: "Thanks!" Toolshed: "What the hell is that?" Professor Chaos: "Practicing my evil laugh." Toolshed: "Dude, not everyone is into your Chaos shtick." Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Spoken like a true agent of Chaos!" Professor Chaos: "Nope!" Professor Chaos: "It's okay, we can share!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, cheeseburgers!" Professor Chaos: "No, thank you!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, thanks!" Human Kite: "You saying you want to blow me, Chaos?" Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Chaos!" Super Craig: "Not happening." Professor Chaos: "Why, thank you, Craig. I'm glad you're impressed by my super Chaos Minions!" Super Craig: "Do I sound impressed?" Professor Chaos: "Not bad, my Chaos Minion!" Captain Diabetes: "Does not!" Professor Chaos: "Does too!" Captain Diabetes: "Nuh uh!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah huh!" Captain Diabetes: "Does not!" Professor Chaos: "Does too!" Captain Diabetes: "Nuh uh!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah huh!" Super Craig: "Oh my god, will you shitheads fucking stop already?" The Coon: "Come down here and face us, you fucking pussy!" Professor Chaos: "My Chaos Supreme comes with extra hot sauce!" Professor Chaos: "Thanks for noticing!" Call Girl: "The whole place is on fire, you idiot!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, yeah?" Professor Chaos: "You wish, Diabetes!" Toolshed: "Not in this lifetime, Chaos!"
 * Selected
 * "Oh hamburgers!"
 * "Muahahahahahahaha!"
 * "PROFESSOR CHAOS!"
 * Battle start
 * "Oh, it looks like a rumble!"
 * "I feel a lot of Chaos comin' on!"
 * "Minions, assemble!"
 * Battle start, first battle versus Chaos Kids
 * "You're no match for my army, Coon Friends!"
 * Battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * "Meet your Mecha Supreme doom!"
 * Battle start, The Invitation
 * "WAHAHA, Chaos's money goes only to his minions' competitive healthcare plans!"
 * Battle start, versus Shub-Niggurath
 * "Fellas, we need to help that lady!"
 * Turn start
 * "Bad news, villains: I'm a good guy now."
 * "Chaos is coming for you!"
 * "Muwahahaha!! Remember this day, for it is the day you die!"
 * "I'm pretty sure I'm up, fellas."
 * "Prepare to suffer, fools!"
 * "Chaos is on the rise!"
 * "Prepare for maximum Chaos!"
 * "Prepare for your doom!"
 * "Oh, boy! Some serious havoc is about to be wreaked!"
 * "Oh, here I go, guys, make some room!"
 * Turn start versus Stephen Stotch
 * "Hey dad, you may have noticed but I'm kind of a superhero now."
 * "Now if I hurt you, Dad, it's Professor Chaos doing it, not your son, now."
 * Turn start versus Spontaneous Bootay
 * "We better get to that shed or we're toast, you guys!"
 * Turn start versus the Zarganor, first phase
 * "Wow, this is a real pickle."
 * Turn start versus the Zarganor, second phase
 * "I'm probably gonna have bad dreams about this bad dream."
 * "I don't think I like being in Doctor Timothy's brain."
 * "Doctor Timothy doesn't look so good, you guys."
 * Turn start versus Milk Monsters
 * "I'm definitely gonna have nightmares about milk monsters, you guys!"
 * Ally turn start versus Spontaneous Bootay
 * "Keep going! I don't wanna die!"
 * "If we can make it to that shed, maybe we'll live!"
 * "Oh jeez, we definitely can't handle this bootay!"
 * "Oh gosh, its just too Bootaylicious!"
 * New Kid turn start versus Monsters
 * "New Kid, please do something to get rid of these monsters..."
 * Monster turn start, first battle against Monsters
 * "Man, these things are scary!"
 * Idle
 * "Oh hamburgers, sorry for making you wait. I'm sure I'll attack soon!"
 * "Hmmm... Who to attack for great Chaos..."
 * "I shall resume spreading Chaos shortly, I promise!"
 * Self or ally idle
 * "Gee, I wonder how my minions are doing."
 * "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!"
 * After attacking Almighty King Douchebag
 * "Stupid king!"
 * Using Chaos Blast
 * "For Chaos!"
 * "Chaos!"
 * After using Chaos Blast
 * "I'm workin' the Chaos guys, isn't this fun?"
 * "Plenty more Chaos where that came from!"
 * "Oh yeah, that's some good Chaos right there."
 * After using Chaos Blast on the Zarganor
 * "Have a taste of chaos, you mean alien!"
 * After using Chaos Blast or Chaos Confuse-O-Tron
 * "There shall be no order from Chaos, do you hear me?"
 * After using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron
 * "Bet you can feel the Chaos now!"
 * "This plan is foolproof!"
 * "Wait for it..."
 * "It's about to get a lot more shocking in here!"
 * "Oh, watch this you guys, this is gonna be so good!"
 * Using Chaos Minion
 * "Go forth, minion!"
 * "Get to work, minion!"
 * "¡Vámonos!"
 * "Get 'em!"
 * "You're on the clock, minion!"
 * Ultimate ready
 * "Hey, fellas? Wanna see my Hammer of Chaos? It's pretty neat."
 * "My Hammer is ready to bring Chaos to all who defy me!"
 * "It is time to unleash my greatest weapon, the Hammer of Chaos!"
 * After ally attacking
 * "Gee whiz, that must've hurt bad!"
 * "You've made the world a better place...for Chaos!"
 * "The forces of Chaos are smiling upon you!"
 * "Yes... Feel the Chaos flowing through you..."
 * After Call Girl using Flash Mob or Phone Destroyer
 * "Oh, man! That was super cool!"
 * After Fastpass attacking
 * "Wish I could move like that when my dad is in one of his moods..."
 * After Fastpass using Hit and Run
 * "Oh, wow! Oh, jeez! You guys see that?"
 * After Human Kite using Laser Burn
 * "Whoa! Excellently smote, Human Kite!"
 * After Mintberry Crunch using Berry Blast
 * "All that mint and berry's gonna make everybody all sticky."
 * After Mosquito attacking
 * "I always thought mosquitoes were pretty neat."
 * "I like your style. Care to join my minions?"
 * After Mosquito using Skeeter Swarm
 * "Muahahaha! Embrace the Chaos! Really just hug the crap out of it!"
 * After New Kid attacking
 * "Real nice one, New Kid!"
 * "That's my Butthole! Um, our Butthole, I mean."
 * "I bet your parents are super proud of you."
 * "Hmm, I like the way you make Chaos!"
 * After New Kid using Backfire Blast
 * "Behold as our enemies barf and burn in fear of your ass-blast!"
 * After New Kid using Dragon Swagger
 * "Oh, I think you made 'em mad, New Kid."
 * After New Kid using Elemental Onslaught
 * "Gee, you really know how to use that, New Kid!"
 * "Muhahaha! What a perfect shitstorm, ButtLord!"
 * After New Kid using Final Vengeance, Final Girl tutorial battle
 * "Holy crap, that's dangerous!"
 * After Toolshed using Drillslinger
 * "Dad doesn't let me watch him play with his tools."
 * After Super Craig attacking
 * "Guys, guys, Super Craig is doing some super-cool stuff!"
 * After Super Craig using Shining Hate Finger
 * "You are capable of some grade-A Chaos when you put your mind on it."
 * After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado
 * "Well, that was some state-of-the-art butt-whipping!"
 * After Wonder Tweek using Supreme Lightning and Icicle Strike
 * "The forecast calls for scattered showers...with a chance of Chaos!"
 * After Wonder Tweek using Icicle Strike
 * "Oh, wow! I'd hate to be that guy's underpants!"
 * Fastpass defeated, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Well, that sure was fast."
 * Mosquito defeated, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Behold, minions! They let their weakest behind to die pitifully..."
 * After a Timefart Glitch
 * "Sorry about your turn."
 * After a Timefart Pause
 * "Oh c'mon, it didn't smell that bad."
 * After a Timefart Summon
 * "Oh, Fartlord's got a minion now. Neato!"
 * "Was that fella hiding in your rectum this whole time?"
 * Healing item
 * "Chaos!"
 * After using healing item on self
 * "I got that healing feeling!"
 * Healed
 * "Gee thanks!"
 * "Chaos has never been this focused!"
 * "Thanks!"
 * "Oh yeah, I feel better."
 * "Oh wow, I needed that."
 * Reviving
 * "It's too nice out to play dead!"
 * "Chaos commands you to rise!"
 * "There's a buddy!"
 * "Come back to life, OK?"
 * Revived
 * "Gee, thanks, it's no fun being dead."
 * "It is I, Professor Chaos. Did you miss me?"
 * "Thanks, if I was knocked out much longer I might have gotten grounded!"
 * Enemy revived by haunted dirt, Bring the Crunch
 * "That Indian dirt keeps reviving all our corpses!"
 * "Oh jeez, the dirt keeps bringin' 'em back to life!"
 * Attacked
 * "I'm sure glad I splurged on the heavy duty tin foil!"
 * "You dare lay a hand on Professor Chaos?!"
 * "OK, just shake it off, Professor."
 * "C'mon, leave me alone!"
 * "My grandma hits harder than that... ...Way harder."
 * "Heck!"
 * "Knock it off!"
 * "Leave me alone!"
 * Attacked by Monster
 * "Uh-oh, a little pee came out again, you guys."
 * Attacked by Milk Monster
 * "Eww, I'm all damp now."
 * After Nightmare Timothy blocking ability
 * "W-well shucks, I liked that power."
 * Attacked, Farts of Future Past
 * "Hey, pick on the Butters in your own timeline!"
 * Ally attacked
 * "Uh, you kinda look worse for the wear, buddy."
 * "Be careful, you don't look so hot..."
 * Minted ally attacked by Berried enemy
 * "Saved by mint!"
 * Toolshed attacked, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Yes, yes! Take out the power tool!"
 * Ally Attack Up
 * "You look really intense right now!"
 * Enemy Berried
 * "I'm ready to get those berry guys!"
 * Bleeding
 * "Fellas, the blood spatter is really cool, but it's freaking me out."
 * Ally Bleeding
 * "Oh no, You're [sic] getting blood all over your costume!"
 * Enemy Bleeding or Hemorrhaging, Bring the Crunch
 * "The Final Girl's nice and all, but all this blood is kinda gross!"
 * Burning
 * "Gosh, these flames look super-real, fellas..."
 * Confused
 * "I feel a lot more confused than usual, fellas."
 * Charmed
 * "I'm, uh, just gonna fight for the enemy for a bit..."
 * "Hey, hey fellas, I'm with the other guys now ok?"
 * "Nobody's gonna miss me if I switch sides, right?"
 * Grossed Out
 * "Oh no, my lunch! I'm gonna get grounded!"
 * Hemorrhaging inflicted to enemy
 * "I don't think nothin' can fix a cut like that."
 * "Shoulda worn safety glasses, hah!"
 * Hemorrhaging inflicted to Monster
 * "That's a nasty looking cut, Mr. Monster."
 * Defeated
 * "I'm OK... I'm fine... Auuugh..."
 * "Could this be the end...of Chaos?"
 * Ally defeated
 * "We can still do this, superfriends!"
 * "Professor Chaos will avenge you!"
 * "Friend down! Friend down!"
 * Toolshed defeated, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "You should have never gone back to join Coon and Friends!"
 * Victory
 * "We couldn't have done it without Chaos!"
 * "Muhahaha! Victory!"
 * "We super won!"
 * "Hey fellas, that was super neat!"
 * "Wow that was some nice fightin', guys."
 * Victory, New Kid defeated
 * "You can stop playing dead, New Kid. We beat them."
 * Victory, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * "Muhahaha! Tremble before the master of Chaos! ...That's, that's me, minions, in case you missed it."
 * Dialogue
 * With Butters the Merciful, ally idle
 * Butters the Merciful: "So how far into the future are you from?"
 * With Butters the Merciful, after attacking Butters the Merciful
 * Butters the Merciful: "Aww that hurt."
 * With Butters the Merciful, after using Chaos Minion, Farts of Future Past
 * Butters the Merciful: "Aww, I want a minion"
 * With Call Girl, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * Call Girl: "#nobodysgonnabelievethis"
 * With Call Girl, self or ally idle
 * Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!"
 * With Call Girl, enemy idle, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * Professor Chaos: "If you all want to join my new supervillain group, Chaos League, we could all go back inside and get some juice boxes."
 * With Call Girl, after using Chaos Blast
 * Call Girl: "Nice Chaos, Professor!"
 * With Call Girl, after using Hammer of Chaos
 * Call Girl: "Your ultimate form's a real beefcake, Professor."
 * With Call Girl, after Call Girl attacking
 * Professor Chaos: "Call Girl kind of kicks ass, you guys."
 * With Call Girl, after Mini Supreme using Dog Shitter, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * Call Girl: "Jesus, Butters, you can't let your dogs shit everywhere. This isn't France!"
 * With Call Girl, attacked
 * Call Girl: "Are you OK, Chaos?"
 * With Captain Diabetes, Captain Diabetes turn start, Chaos Minion Round 1, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * Captain Diabetes: "You're not getting away with this, Professor Chaos!"
 * With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes using Coma Combo
 * Professor Chaos: "Well, you must spend all day pumping iron, Cap."
 * With Captain Diabetes, after Captain Diabetes using Sugar Rush
 * Professor Chaos: "I don't know how you do it, Captain!"
 * With Chaos Kid, battle start
 * Professor Chaos: "Gosh, minions, what gives?"
 * With The Coon, turn start
 * Professor Chaos: "Muwahahaha!! Remember this day, for it is the day you die!"
 * With The Coon, self or ally idle
 * Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!"
 * With The Coon or Mitch Conner, after attacking Mitch Conner, Farts of Future Past
 * Professor Chaos: "Now did I attack the right one, fellas?"
 * With The Coon, after using Chaos Blast
 * The Coon: "Don't blow all your Chaos in one load, Professor!"
 * With The Coon, after using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron
 * The Coon: "Savor my begrudging respect, old nemesis."
 * With The Coon, after The Coon using Coon Claws
 * Professor Chaos: "You hit like my grandma."
 * With The Coon, The Coon defeated
 * Professor Chaos: "Aww, The Coon looks like a sleepy kitty."
 * With counselor, after using Hammer of Chaos, versus the Zarganor, second phase
 * Counselor: "Ooh, who was that?"
 * With counselor, Hemorrhaging inflicted to enemy, Bring the Crunch
 * Counselor: "That is so dangerous!"
 * With counselor and Nathan, self or ally turn start, Bring the Crunch
 * Counselor: "How about we go make some nice S'mores by the campfire?"
 * With Fastpass, battle start, Final Girl tutorial battle
 * Fastpass: "OK, Butthole, why don't you see how your Final Girl powers work on these monsters?"
 * With Fastpass, Milk Monster turn start, second phase
 * Fastpass: "It's too bad your Kryptonite wasn't something harmless like hamsters."
 * With Fastpass, idle and attacked
 * Fastpass: "Not easy being one of the good guys, huh Professor?"
 * With Fastpass, self or ally idle
 * Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!"
 * With Fastpass, after using Chaos Blast
 * Fastpass: "Where'd you learn to do that?"
 * With Fastpass, after using Chaos Blast and Chaos Confuse-O-Tron
 * Fastpass: "Gotta admit... Your brand of Chaos has a certain appeal!"
 * With Fastpass, after New Kid moving after selecting target for Hammer Bomb, Final Girl tutorial battle
 * Fastpass: "Wow, and then you choose your victim's knockback direction! Cool!"
 * With Fastpass, after Nathan using Fishy Friends, Bring the Crunch
 * Professor Chaos: "Oh jeez, I really don't like fish monsters, you guys. They're so clammy!"
 * With Fastpass, revived by haunted dirt, Bring the Crunch
 * Professor Chaos: "Hey you guys, maybe we shouldn't be fighting on an Indian burial ground!"
 * With Fastpass, attacked
 * Fastpass: "You OK, Chaos?"
 * With Fastpass, enemy Bleeding or Hemorrhaging, Bring the Crunch
 * Professor Chaos: "The Final Girl's nice and all, but all this blood is kinda gross!"
 * With Fastpass, Monster Bleeding or Hemorrhaging
 * Fastpass: "Wow, they're really bleeding everywhere."
 * With Fastpass, Mintberry Crunch, and Monsters, second wave of Monsters, Final Girl tutorial battle
 * Monster: "Get outta here, kids!"
 * With High Jew Elf Kyle, battle start
 * High Jew Elf Kyle: "Our King won't let you pass!"
 * With Human Kite, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * Human Kite: "Dude, you totally outdid yourself!"
 * With Human Kite, turn start, Chaos Minions first group battle, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * Professor Chaos: "Why would you side with such weaklings, Toolshed?"
 * With Medbot, Medbot using healing attack on Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * Medbot: "¡Entropía bomba!"
 * With Mimsy, self or ally idle
 * Mimsy: "Boss says marshmallows are made from spider eggs!"
 * With Mintberry Crunch, turn start versus Milk Monsters
 * Professor Chaos: "I'm definitely gonna have nightmares about milk monsters, you guys!"
 * With Mintberry Crunch, after Mintberry Crunch using Mint Launch, Bring the Crunch
 * Mintberry Crunch: "I declare you: Minted!"
 * With Mintberry Crunch, Minted New Kid attacked by Berried enemy, round 1, first battle against Monsters
 * Mintberry Crunch: "Hah! When a Berry enemy attacks a friend with Mint, they do no damage!"
 * With Mitch Conner, turn start, Farts of Future Past
 * Mitch Conner: "Well, who do you attack, Freedom Pal?"
 * With Monster, Monster turn start
 * Monster: "Who's ready for a senseless murdering?"
 * Monster: "Why aren't you running away! RARRRGH!"
 * Monster: "Your fear makes me stronger!"
 * Monster: "Who wants to see my bone saw?"
 * Monster: "All right, who wants to get eaten tonight?"
 * Monster: "I'm gonna scare you DEAD!"
 * With Mosquito, self or ally idle
 * Mosquito: "My dad lets me play with the big rolling ladder in his store's stock room."
 * With Mysterion, after Mysterion attacking
 * Professor Chaos: "We should totally team up!"
 * Professor Chaos: Gee whiz, Mysterion, you're really cool."
 * With Raisins Girl, self or ally idle
 * Raisins Girl: "So, you guys having a good time today?"
 * With Stephen Stotch, self or ally idle
 * Stephen: "Butters, if something doesn't happen soon, you're double grounded!"
 * With Stephen Stotch, after ally or self attacking or using Enrage move on Stephen Stotch
 * Stephen: "Well that just makes me more angry at Butters!"
 * With Stephen Stotch, after attacking Stephen Stotch
 * Stephen: "Butters! Behave yourself or I'm going to send you to live with your grandma!"
 * With Stephen Stotch, after using Chaos Blast on Stephen Stotch
 * Professor Chaos: "Pretty sweet Chaos Bolt, huh Da-"
 * With Stephen Stotch, after using Chaos Confuse-O-Tron on Stephen Stotch
 * Professor Chaos: "Pretty shocking, huh Da-"
 * With Stephen Stotch, Stephen Stotch preparing Ground
 * Stephen: "I'll ground you! I'LL GROUND YOU ALL!"
 * Stephen: "Who will I ground next? Maybe all of you!"
 * Stephen: "Any of you been swearing? That's a grounding!"
 * Stephen: "Here comes a grounding!"
 * With Stephen Stotch, after Stephen Stotch using Ground on New Kid
 * Professor Chaos: "The New Kid can't be grounded! It's like a miracle you guys!"
 * With Stephen Stotch, Stephen Stotch Grossed Out
 * Stephen: "Butters, you're shampooing the carpet after this!"
 * With Stephen Stotch, victory
 * Stephen: "Dammit Butters, you're grounded for life!"
 * With Super Craig, after Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch
 * Professor Chaos: "You hit them right in their weak spot, Super Craig!"
 * With Super Craig, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * Super Craig: "Nice ride. Sorry about your dick size."
 * With Super Craig, after attacking, Chaos Minions first group battle, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * Super Craig: "Hold still, Chaos creature."
 * With Super Craig, after Mini Supreme using Dog Shitter, The Hundred Hands of Chaos
 * Professor Chaos: "Mark your territory!"
 * With Super Craig, Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme attacked
 * Professor Chaos: "OK, just shake it off, Professor."
 * With Toolshed, battle start with Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme
 * Toolshed: "Wow that's...that's a hell of a construction project."
 * With Toolshed, self or ally idle
 * Professor Chaos: "Muwahaha! Muuuwaaahaaa! Muwwwwaaaa!"
 * With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Drillslinger
 * Professor Chaos: "How does it feel to serve as a tool of Chaos?"
 * With Wonder Tweek, after using Chaos Blast
 * Wonder Tweek: "Are you sure you're not radioactive, Professor?"
 * Wonder Tweek: "I'm kinda supposed to be the lightning guy around here."
 * With the Zarganor, Nightmare Timothy preparing Nocturnal Eruption
 * Zarganor: "Time to die..."
 * With the Zarganor, the Zarganor using Milky Discharge
 * Zarganor: "Who wants a little squirt, hmm?"
 * Fighting Jared, after he speaks
 * "You're making me kind of uncomfortable."
 * "I really don't like this guy!"
 * Unsorted
 * "Play your cards right and I might just introduce you."
 * "A headbutt like a jack hammer... Neat, New Kid!"
 * Human Kite: "Nice work stopping their attacks with your body, Chaos!"
 * Professor Chaos: "Let the winds of Chaos blow you, Human Kite..."
 * "Hey! Me hablas español, you minions!"
 * Professor Chaos: "I'm gonna push your buttons till you scream like a little girl, Super Craig."
 * Super Craig: "Shit. The minions got you."
 * "Ha-ha! Behold, my minions! Chaos grips their soul and tears them apart!"
 * "Toolshed! I can feel the Chaos in you... Join me!"
 * Chaos Kid: "How are we doing, Professor?"
 * Professor Chaos: "Ha-ha! Behold, my minions! Chaos grips their soul and tears them apart!"
 * "Let's see you laugh at Professor Chaos now, Coon!"
 * Professor Chaos: "I hope that really hurt, Coon!"
 * "Look out for his middle finger, my minions!"
 * Human Kite: "Jesus, what the fuck was that?"
 * The Coon: "I think you're taking this a little too far, Butters."
 * Professor Chaos: "If you all want to join my new supervillain group, Chaos League, we could all go back inside and get some juice boxes."
 * "I can't wait to bring this thing to school tomorrow!"
 * "Ha ha, hey, who's tickling me? Quit it!"
 * "Man, it's kind of hot in here."
 * "Heal me, 'o minion, so that Chaos may prevail! Huh, come on, please?"
 * Captain Diabetes: "Professor! It's not too late to lay down your minions!"
 * "Gee whiz, guys... That was really mean."
 * Professor Chaos: "Bow before Chaos or face my army of minions!"
 * "These missiles are gonna look real sweet on our first movie poster!"
 * "Careful, minions, this one's fast!"
 * "Feel how entropy is messing with your atoms, Fastpass!"
 * "Too slow, Fastpass!"