Mysterion/Quotes

This page lists all notable quotes voiced out by Mysterion (Kenny McCormick) in South Park: The Fractured But Whole.

Overview
Mysterion often talks about dark things like death and murder, and about fate; this can be related to his infamous inability to die.

He is especially hateful towards everyone, especially Vampires, labeling them as 'lame'.

He does however show a caring side, in particular towards his sister in From Dusk till Casa Bonita, where he tries to convince her not to be friends with the Vampires.

Field/Story
Mysterion: "My family can't really afford to go to restaurants." Henrietta: "Oh, that's kinda goth."
 * During The Chaos Gambit
 * "You wanna get back there? Not a chance. The Doc is working on something that will save us all."
 * "This area is off limits."
 * "I don't trust you, Butthole, but I'll let you prove me wrong."
 * "I got my eye on you, Butthole."
 * "Shit's going south real fast in this town."
 * During The Thin White Line
 * "What a bunch of dicks."
 * "What are you assholes doing here?"
 * "This isn't going to get any easier, but those cops need to pay."
 * "Tupperware's tupperware just saved his ass."
 * "Scrambles?"
 * "WHAT?!"
 * "THAT'S IT, NEW KID! WE'RE GONNA RIP YOU APART!"
 * "I've always been a big fan of revenge."
 * "Get that traitor!"
 * "YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!"
 * During The Thin White Line, wrong way
 * "What are you running errands? We got a police station to infiltrate, and it ain't that way."
 * During The Thin White Line, Jared spared
 * "You got a soft heart, kid. Maybe TOO soft."
 * During The Thin White Line, Jared not spared
 * "Some criminals don't deserve mercy."
 * "That's something you don't see every day. A fart execution."
 * During The Thin White Line, Jared defeated
 * "Whatever they got in the basement can't be worse than this puke."
 * During The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto
 * "WE CAN'T BEAT THIS THING!"
 * "Let's get the fuck out the here!"
 * "Is... Oh shit! Oh no!"
 * During Farts of Future Past
 * "HOLY SHIT, DUDE!"
 * "We don't have time for this! Stand aside! We have to get to Cartman!"
 * "WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, FATASS!"
 * 'WE AREN'T PLAYING ANYMORE! WE KNOW EVERYTHING! SHOW US YOUR LEFT HAND!"
 * "SHOW US YOUR FUCKING LEFT HAND!"
 * "COME ON! WE CAN STILL STOP THIS FUCKER!"
 * "I have no fucking idea."
 * "You all happy now?"
 * When Therapy Wars has been completed
 * "I heard about what you did for Tweek and Craig. You're all right, Butthole."
 * During From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "ButtLord, I need your help. Vampires have taken my sister, Karen. We have to save her. Get on the DLC Bus and come here now. I can't do it without you."
 * "I knew I could count on you. Those fucking vampires kidnapped my sister and brought her here. Who knows what horrible things they're doing to her. You ready to do this?"
 * "Good. We have to stop them. Some do not believe in vampires but they are very real. I know we've got other problems back in South Park, but I can't let those monsters hurt my sister."
 * "Before we go in, I need to know that you can handle yourself. Take out these guys and I'll know you're ready."
 * "Coon, what are you doing here?"
 * "Fuck you, dude!"
 * "This could only mean one thing..."
 * "Look, it's Corey Haim! Get him!"
 * "At least she's not a Vamp Kid."
 * With Henrietta Biggle, during From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Henrietta: "You ever look around a restaurant and imagine who is the most dead inside?"
 * Female New Kid idle
 * "You kinda remind me of my sister, New Kid. I have this weird urge to protect you."
 * Talked to, before completing The Samaritan Agenda
 * "You wanna get back there? No chance. The Doc is working on something that will save us all."
 * Turning down a selfie
 * "Not so fast. Prove that you really want to be here first."
 * Taking a selfie with the New Kid
 * "Let's do it. You're a real Freedom Pal Now."
 * "Thanks for your help, Butthole! We should take a selfie."
 * After selfie
 * "Keeper."
 * "Thanks again, Butthole."
 * "Even if we're different sides, Butthole, you really helped me out, thanks."
 * Attacked
 * "Ow, dammit."
 * "What the hell, dude?"
 * Farted on
 * "Careful with that thing, Butthole!"
 * "Jesus Christ."

Battle
Mysterion: "Well you know, I have been working out." Mysterion: "That's why I'm getting a movie in Phase 1!" Mysterion: "I did a little bit." Mysterion: "Cartman, I fucking swear to god." Mysterion: "I'm a wandering soul who can never truly die." The Coon: "Jesus, dramatic much?" The Coon: "You're kind of a fucking downer, Mysterion." The Coon: "God dammit, Mysterion! Would it kill you to be a little more upbeat?" Mysterion: "I doubt it." The Coon: "Fuck you, Mysterion. Fate ain't the boss of these fucking sweet claws!" Mysterion: "Fuck you, dude!" Corey Haim: "That's ignorant!" Fastpass: "That was some dark shit, man." Mysterion: "I got a lot on my mind." Fastpass: "That was some dark shit, man." Fastpass: "That was some dark shit, man." Fastpass: "Yeah, I learned that one from a Family Circus strip." Fastpass: "That was some dark shit, man." Henrietta: "Wow, that's pretty goth." Mysterion: "Happy to help." Henrietta: "Try Satanist." Henrietta: "Just don't get on my bad side." Henrietta: "Obviously." Henrietta: "Yeah, thanks." Mysterion: "I'll say." Human Kite: "I'm not doing anything, dude. It's Mitch!" Mysterion: "I'm not the one who needs to be afraid." Human Kite: "Actually, I kinda made 'em out of Mylar and this polyurethane stuff." Mysterion: "No. Vengeance will be mine alone." Mysterion: "They've glamoured you, Karen! They're vampires!" Mysterion: "You couldn't make a rabbit tremble." Mysterion: "That you're an asshole and your party sucks?" Mike Makowski: "Aww come on, that's not cool." Mitch Conner: "Not if I break you first, Mysterion. Which I will!" Mysterion: "To be honest, I'd be happy hitting either of you assholes right now." Mosquito: "If you mean suck their blood and stuff, you got it!" Mysterion: "Mysterion works alone." Professor Chaos: "Really? I mean, we're kinda working together right now." Mysterion: "Mysterion works alone." Professor Chaos: "Well, ok then." Mysterion: "I know." Mysterion: "I got a lot of pathos." Super Craig: "You should get that looked at." Super Craig: "Does it look like I care?" Mysterion: "Well, that's kind of my point." Super Craig: "I've got a black belt in not giving a shit." Mysterion: "I am not bound by your natural laws." Toolshed: "Oh, god, you're right!" Vampire: "They're battle gauntlets, from the ancient ones!" Vampire: "No, it's not!" Mysterion: "Sometimes heroes have to work outside the law, Tweek." Mysterion: "A little late, dude."
 * Selected
 * "Let's settle this."
 * "Mysterion!"
 * "Present."
 * Battle start
 * "Today is the last day of the rest of your life."
 * Battle start, versus Shub-Niggurath, The Thin White Line
 * "We have to end this now!"
 * Battle start, versus Many-Assed Sixth Graders, The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto
 * "Okay, let's kick some asses."
 * Turn start
 * "It's time."
 * "If I'm not your worst nightmare...I aspire to be."
 * "Make way for Mysterion."
 * "This is my time."
 * "Prepare to meet your end."
 * "This might get ugly."
 * Turn start, in low health
 * "I...can't...be defeated."
 * "I...can't...die. But you can!"
 * Turn start, Civil War 2: Playtime's Over
 * "You're outmatched. Give up before you embarrass yourselves."
 * "Fighting Doctor Timothy is a mistake beyond your comprehension!"
 * Turn start, versus Many-Assed Cats, The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto
 * "Watch out for their claws! And butts."
 * Turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "The vamps are trying to take you once and for all! Fight them!"
 * "Karen, snap out of it! You've got to fight Corey Haim!"
 * Turn start versus Vampires, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "I got some bad news about vampire immortality."
 * "You want darkness? I can do darkness."
 * "The forces of lameness will never win!"
 * "Next I'll knock your stupid arm socks off."
 * Turn start versus Head Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Dude, frosted tips aren't cool, they're lame as fuck."
 * New Kid turn start
 * "Go, Butthole!"
 * New Kid turn start versus Corey Haim, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Just focus on not dying, OK?"
 * New Kid turn start, Civil War
 * "You're on the wrong side of this, New Kid."
 * "Think about what you're doing, New Kid!"
 * "Cartman's only working for himself, New Kid."
 * With Mike Makowski, after Vampire first using ability in VIP Room, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "God, even your opening moves are lame!"
 * New wave of Vampires, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "More? Bring 'em on."
 * Ally idle
 * "You guys want to grab something to eat after this?"
 * Ally idle, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "God, I hate themed birthday parties."
 * Attacking
 * "No mercy."
 * After attacking
 * "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader."
 * "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
 * After using Demonic Fury
 * "Fate brought us together so that I could tear you apart."
 * After using Demonic Fury on Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Thought that might knock some sense into you."
 * Using Dread Rush, Dark Whisper, or Cruel Fate
 * "You won't see me coming."
 * "Here we go."
 * After using Dread Rush
 * "You have no idea what you're dealing with."
 * "It's only gonna get worse."
 * After using Dread Rush on Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "I'm just "expressing" myself."
 * After using Cruel Fate
 * "I'll see you in hell, you guys."
 * After ally attacking
 * "Yes...hasten their journey to the hereafter."
 * "That looked painful."
 * "Brutal. I like it."
 * "Nice one."
 * After Call Girl using Phone Destroyer
 * "It was their destiny to get their social security numbers released to the internet."
 * After Henrietta using Cigarette Burn
 * "Smoking is pretty cool."
 * Targeted by Satanic Seal
 * "Thanks, Satan. Now we're even."
 * "I'll take it."
 * Targeted by Baleful Blessing
 * "You won't like me when I'm possessed by demons."
 * Targeted by Baleful Blessing versus Corey Haim, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Now I'm gonna do something bad."
 * After Human Kite using Wrath of Kite
 * "Kill or be killed, Human Kite. Only I can do both."
 * After New Kid attacking
 * "You're doing good work, New Kid... Fate's work."
 * "Fear the Butthole!"
 * New Kid attacked
 * "You shouldn't make the Butthole angry."
 * "The Butthole always wins in the end."
 * After New Kid using Dire Shroud on self
 * "Nice. Now you've got a shield AND health Regen on your next turn!"
 * "The New Kid's powered up and pissed."
 * After New Kid using Dire Shroud on enemy
 * "Yeah, I'm a fan of the offensive tactic too."
 * After New Kid using Ghastly Grasp
 * "Careful, Butthole. Messing with the undead is risky."
 * "Aww, you scared 'em."
 * "Fuckin' dark, dude."
 * Targeted by Dire Shroud
 * "Ready or not, here I come!"
 * After New Kid using Soul Slash
 * "Good form, ButtLord!"
 * "Lean into it next time!"
 * After Mosquito using Pandemic Pestilence
 * "Fate can be cruel, and kind of icky."
 * After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado
 * "Life is frail. You are not."
 * After a Timefart Glitch
 * "You don't get to go."
 * After a Timefart Pause
 * "Butthole sure has some violent gas."
 * "There was more to that fart than meets the eye."
 * After a Timefart summon
 * "We're up to our necks in Buttholes."
 * "Another Butthole, huh? Why not."
 * Vampire defeated, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Mortality's a bitch."
 * "One less vamp douche."
 * "Now you've got something to be emo about."
 * "Who's mortal now?"
 * After using healing item on self or ally
 * "Heal up."
 * "Oh, that's potent."
 * New Kid healed or Protected
 * "Use it well, Butthole."
 * Healed or Protected
 * "Thank you."
 * "I feel that...all over."
 * Reviving
 * "You need this more than me."
 * Attacked
 * "Crap."
 * "So lame."
 * "I...will remember that."
 * "You don't want to hit me again."
 * "Curses."
 * "Damn you!"
 * "I felt that."
 * "Shit."
 * "Quit trying so hard!"
 * "You're gonna regret that."
 * Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "No! He's possessing Karen!"
 * After Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Get out of Karen's body, you bastard!"
 * Attacked by Jared, The Thin White Line
 * "What a waste of a perfectly good sandwich."
 * Attacked by Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "Try again, dorks."
 * Ally attacked
 * "Show no weakness!"
 * "You don't look so great."
 * Ally attacked by Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "That's so fucking lame."
 * Defeated
 * "Oh, right, Mysterion's dead, you guys."
 * Fighting Jared, after Jared speaks, The Thin White Line
 * "I'm gonna kick your ass."
 * "You've got a lot of bad karma coming your way."
 * The Coon defeated
 * "We've lost the Coon! Oh well."
 * "The Coon has gone to the Great Beyond!"
 * After Mitch Conner cheats, To Catch a Coon
 * "You cheating asshole!"
 * "Cut the bullshit, Coon!"
 * "Hey that's bullshit!"
 * "Come the fuck on!"
 * "Liar!"
 * "Bullshit!"
 * New Kid defeated, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * "This is fucking embarrassing."
 * New Kid targeted by Satanic Seal
 * "Butthole's supercharged!"
 * After Shub-Niggurath devouring Crooked Cop White Meat, The Thin White Line
 * "Death is coming. Better run."
 * Bleeding
 * "I guess bloodshed was inevitable."
 * Enraged
 * "There are no words for my anger."
 * Lifesteal
 * "Bonus."
 * "Beautiful."
 * Victory
 * "Retribution but with Inclusion!"
 * "This was only going to end one way."
 * "I felt good about that."
 * Dialogue
 * With Call Girl, after using Demonic Fury
 * Call Girl: "Mysterion, you're a beast!"
 * With Call Girl, after using Dread Rush
 * Call Girl: "I bet the Mysterion fan page is blowing up!"
 * With Call Girl, attacked
 * Call Girl: "Ha! Mysterion didn't even flinch."
 * With The Coon, The Coon turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * The Coon: "Wow, how does it feel to know Corey Haim is inside your sister?"
 * With The Coon, self or ally idle
 * The Coon: "Mysterion, are you like a goth or ninja or what?"
 * With The Coon, after attacking
 * Mysterion: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader." / "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
 * Mysterion: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader." / "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
 * With The Coon, after The Coon using Coon Lunge
 * Mysterion: "Fate guides your claws, Coon."
 * With The Coon, The Coon attacked
 * ​The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?"
 * With Corey Haim, turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mysterion: "Karen, snap out of it! You've got to fight Corey Haim!"
 * With Fastpass, after attacking
 * Mysterion: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader."
 * With Fastpass, after using Demonic Fury
 * Fastpass: "You're a pretty intense dude, Mysterion."
 * Mysterion: "Fate brought us together so that I could tear you apart."
 * With Fastpass, after self or ally attacking
 * Mysterion: "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
 * With Fastpass, after Fastpass attacking
 * Mysterion: "Live fast and die young. You have the right idea, Fastpass."
 * Mysterion: "Press the attack while you still draw breath."
 * With Henrietta, turn start, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mysterion: "You want darkness? I can do darkness."
 * With Henrietta, after using Dark Whisper
 * Henrietta: "I think you're actually scaring me."
 * With Henrietta, after Henrietta first using Cigarette Burn, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mysterion: "Whoa, are you Pyromancer class?"
 * With Henrietta, after Henrietta using Satanic Seal
 * Mysterion: "You're a mostly good witch, huh?"
 * With Henrietta, after Henrietta using Black Mass
 * Mysterion: "Damn, that's hardcore goth."
 * Mysterion: "Wow, that's dark."
 * Henrietta: "It's good to have friends in dark places."
 * With Human Kite, turn start, final battle, Farts of Future Past
 * Mysterion: "Knock off the bullshit, Kite."
 * With Human Kite, after using Demonic Fury
 * Human Kite: "Wow, dude, it's like you have zero fear of death."
 * With Human Kite, after Human Kite using Wrath of Kite
 * Mysterion: "Death comes on plastic wings."
 * With Human Kite, character other than Human Kite attacked
 * ​Human Kite: "I'll make them pay for that!"
 * With Karen McCormick, after attacking Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * ​Karen McCormick: "You're hurting my friends, Guardian Angel!"
 * With Mike Makowski, attacked by Vampire Griefer, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mike Makowski: "Tremble before the power of Vampir!"
 * With Mike Makowski, Vampire defeated, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mike Makowski: "Hey, what am I gonna tell that kid's parents?"
 * With Mitch Conner, turn start, To Catch a Coon
 * Mysterion: "Stop before I break your fucking hand."
 * With Mitch Conner, turn start, Farts of Future Past
 * Mitch Conner: "You're up. Who're you gonna fight, Freedom Pal?"
 * With Mosquito, after Mosquito attacking
 * Mysterion: "Shuffle thine enemies from this mortal coil, Mosquito."
 * With Professor Chaos, after attacking
 * Professor Chaos: "We should totally team up!"
 * Professor Chaos: Gee whiz, Mysterion, you're really cool."
 * With Super Craig, after using Dread Rush
 * Super Craig: "You're so melodramatic, dude."
 * With Super Craig, self or ally idle
 * Mysterion: "Hey Craig, think you could have a shittier costume?"
 * With Super Craig, after Super Craig attacking
 * Mysterion: "Nice technique."
 * With Toolshed, after attacking
 * Toolshed: "Not sure those powers of yours are up to code."
 * With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Spiral Power
 * Mysterion: "Fight or fail, what does it matter? You'll be dust in a hundred years anyway."
 * With Vampire, turn start, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mysterion: "Next I'll knock your stupid arm socks off."
 * With Vampire, ally attacked by Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita
 * Mysterion: "That's so fucking lame."
 * With Wonder Tweek, Wonder Tweek idle, The Thin White Line
 * Wonder Tweek: "Hey, you know I was mostly OK with fighting old people, but taking on the whole police station? This is some serious shit!"
 * With Wonder Tweek, attacked
 * Wonder Tweek: "Mysterion, look out!"

Trivia
He is the only original member of Freedom Pals that responds to The Coon's line: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?". In response, he says: "Fuck you, dude!"